My story...

My life began 33 years ago in a small town in Bataan Philippines. That was eleven months after my parents got married in 1979. I was the eldest child. To complete our family, my two sisters and my youngest brother were born like one every after two years gap. I went to public school in elementary when I was only six. I got memories of grade school, lots of it actually. I was a shy boring girl. I was never popular because I was no extraordinary kid. One of the highlights of grade school was in first grade when I was picked by my teacher to join the beauty contest kind of thing. Please don’t laugh I didn’t know how it happened either. As expected I lost it and cried my eyes out because that was my first ever official failure and as a child I didn’t know how to deal with negative things. Another failure came when I was in sixth grade. I was chosen to represent our school for math competition because my teacher believed I could do magic with numbers. I really had no idea what kind of grass my teachers were smoking back then. I sucked at competing with others because I never believed I could beat anyone. I lost again but this time I did not care. I was never a studious student, I was lazy even then. In fact there were those times I got zero scores in quizzes and seatmate who was in charged of checking answers was so mean and he would laugh hysterically at me the entire week. What I knew was that I loved reading romance books. They never failed to thrill me. That explained how I got blurry vision. Surprisingly I graduated in elementary and what was even more surprising I got the first place in academics. Told you my teachers were into drugs or something. Plus I sabotaged the intelligent ones lol. Seriously I thought it was just pure luck, I could not believe it, I thought I did not deserve it. So being first placer in the class gave me the chance to deliver a speech in front of many people and that was my first and last public speaking experience. My valedictory speech was fucking scripted. I forgot who the genius made that speech for me. Too bad google wasn't even an idea that time. It was full of drama and bullshit. I never really liked it. What I liked about the outcome of it though was my father's gift to me. It was my first ever wristwatch and I thought of it as the most treasured thing in the world. So after graduation I went to high school which I referred to as the school of pine trees because there were beautiful tall pine trees and underneath them were those big rubber truck wheels we used to sit on during break time or during crush hunting because our crushes were kinda missing in action all the time and we were like paparazzi. I got lots of crushes in high school. But I had my first unofficial boyfriend when I was in sophomore class. I had a boyfriend and I was only fourteen yay! Ssshhh my parents did not know about it because they were the strictest parents in the whole galaxy. I swear. But that was just pure teenage love. No biggie. That guy was a schoolmate of mine but we first met not at school campus but on the way home. A group of students were on a tricycle and there was this cute guy enjoying the ride as he gripped the tricycle like a monkey. He was weird as fuck. But instead of fearing for his life...he was smiling at me. It all started there. We got very close especially the time when we both joined the drum and xylophone group because we avoided joining the student military training. All my friends did not like it too so our circle of friends all joined the band instead. My friends and I played the xylophone and he played any drums. So every time there were rehearsals, Christmas carols, out of school performance or competition, we would be constant buddies and everyday was getting more fun and exciting because we would always be together. So cute. But immature love could not last I guessed. He found a new girlfriend. And it broke my heart to bits. But I got through it because my best friends were there making each day extra cheerful. I belonged in one big group of eight girls during high school. All of us were in the same class. We had so much fun together. We tried all the good and bad things at school. We cut classes to give way for some adventures with the boys. There were also some points we got addicted to drinking alcohol. Oftentimes the principal had to suspend us for like a day or two as punishment. My friends were never bad though. We were just like everyone else who wanted to try out everything. All of the things we did we considered them part of high school, part of growing up. Just when I got over my first boyfriend came another guy into my life. I was in senior class when I met that cute dancer I got caught staring at me across the classroom. We got introduced and I liked him right there and then. He was good looking like that. But the downside was him being younger than I was. He was a sophomore that time and I was in graduating class. I thought going out of high school and moving into college would eventually separate us. I felt everything was hopeless for us so I dumped him. Stupid decision ever I know. I thought it was over but I was wrong. There were few occasions after graduation where our common friends would arrange events and meet ups and we would be reunited again and found ourselves enjoying each others company again. One time we were together in a friend's house and it was getting late. He said nobody's staying in their house for some reasons and he was alone. To cut the story short, he asked me to stay. I panicked. I was brought up conservatively. I was only 16 years old that time and I was afraid of what my parents gonna do to me once they knew it. So I told him I would rather go home. As much as I wanted to, I was afraid what was gonna happen when it was only me and him. Well maybe nothing because we were so innocent then, I mean what would a 14 year old boy and a 16 year old girl do? Like my parents I just got paranoid. As you all know being obedient to parents means boring life, perhaps yes? So the guy felt bad about my decision. He said that was the second time I rejected him and then we never saw each other again. My life was shattered. But I still went on with life, with college and shit. I met a lot of new friends. Also I got the chance to befriend familiar faces in our area. One of them was this tall jolly guy I used to know. He was a varsity player in their school in manila. He was very funny guy like he made tears fall down my face out of just laughter…. Oh my geeespot…I can’t keep going. Stupid migraine gets in the way. I’ll get back with part2 okay? Keep well baby!

Video scandal...

I was alone in coa office when out of nowhere my guy officemate came in. I have to make a little bit of a disclaimer before I go on just so I would not be judged. This small guy is married, has two kids, he was the first person I got close to since I came here eight months ago. He was funny...and harmless. Think of any guy that could run errands for you but…with the right amount of bribery...he’s that kind of guy. Going on with the story, so my officemate came in looking excited then asked me if I want a copy of chito and neri sex scandal…I was like who the hell are they? See how watching almost no TV made me left behind? I seldom watch TV, the time I use for it I’d rather use for watching favorite sites on youtube. I totally don’t know who that neri is, though I know little information about chito. I know the band called parokya ni edgar, I always recognize them not for their songs, I really don’t like their music, but because they wore, each of them, long lady skirts during their first tv appearance couple of years ago. They looked retarded but their efforts paid off. They got peoples attention and eventually got famous. So handing in a controversial video not everyone could see is a test to my curiosity. I am no saint, I’m just like everybody else who finds genuine sex very interesting to watch because it makes every emotions in our body coming out all at once. Disappointment, shame, awkwardness, pity, anger, sexual tension, guilt, arousal, surprise, grossness even comedy! I swear it would make your heart palpitate. That’s how a sex video going to affect us. Therefore I watched it, period. And that was hardcore sex. Its boldness is equally leveled to that of hayden-maricar sex video, if not beyond that. Tsk tsk…very scandalous. Then I searched what were the persons involved reactions. According to the news, chito cried foul, he said their computer hard drive was stolen and the robber was the one that leaked the video. He also made some statements asking apologies from their parents and then thanking everyone for their prayers. What. The. Fuck. I cannot for the life of me understand why these people after making scandalous sex videos blame other people and then incorporate God and prayers. If I were God, I would be super pissed! I mean come on, why would you pray after watching fucking sex video? Do they really need divine intervention? I reserve that for people who have cancers. Majority of the people would be super horny after watching a sex video right? Praying during or after an arousal is just unthinkable. Filming a sex video for me is like signing a waiver that if in case it went public, it would be your sole responsibility and accountability. Blame noone but yourself alone. Another point, if having a sex video is okay, why blame anyone? Just be happy and proud right? It’s okay after all.

Subscription Box

For those of you who don’t know about what’s in and what’s trendy in PH beauty industry very recently, I know some of you already know but for the most part, this is still gonna be the first time you’re gonna hear about this so listen. Long before beauty boxes made them here in the country, came already a bunch of companies around the world like US and Canada sending out not only beauty boxes but products of varieties to consumers by way of subscription to try out their products in samples. I’ve seen many reviews and unboxing of these subscriptions on youtube and I swear I wished I could get one for myself too. They’re like gifts which you don’t know what’s in them until you open them. Who doesn’t love opening a surprise, right? So currently here in PH there are three beauty box subscriptions making their hit to beauty and fashion world. They are the SALADBOX, BDJBOX and the GLAMOURBOX. Their costs are less than 600 pesos monthly and you will be getting monthly goodies from skin care products like make-up, body wash, lotion, to signature perfumes samples, etc. depends on the box theme because they do change monthly. But I was not subscribed to any of them, I could if I want to though because I could use for payment my BPI account other than a credit card which I do not have, unfortunately. Only reason being beauty products hate me so much. I have extremely sensitive skin and they hate me for that, I tried many products on my face before and they only made my skin worse. I easily get pimples like hundreds of them everyday, it’s really frustrating. Currently, I am not using any soap or whatever shit on my face, I am using only shampoo as facial wash and my skin got fewer pimples since then on. So that makes toothpaste and shampoo two products I cannot live without, other than those you can take away everything else, Im fine. Being said of boxes, there is one new addition to three subscription boxes I mentioned, this is the SM BEAUTY BOX that SM and Watsons launched few days ago. This box is worth 4,000 pesos of Watsons goodies but you only need to pay 799 pesos! Amazing right? I tell you I’m not a fan of beauty products but this one is just so irresistible! And what’s even greater about this box is that you don’t need to subscribe online, you just have to go to selected SM malls and pray they will not run out of stock, they are too good to be true like that! The box was launched last August 1 but I got to know about it just yesterday so I immediately called boyfriend to get me one in SM North but as expected, we’re too late, nothing’s left for me, not even one, not even the shadow of it, very disappointing. Now that I still think about it, you know what…fuck that! I want it but I don’t need those shit in it! I would just give them away. I am more satisfied with zalora now. Do you know about zalora yet? And lazada? Well check them out now, you are missing out! Lazada is my first love, previously I got to win free vouchers of as much as 1,500 on their fireworks of vouchers promo. Now I got less interested joining because the newest vouchers that they are giving out have minimum purchase of 3,000 or 4,000 depends on their mood as compared to 2,500 of before, and another thing, they are limited only for use on gadgets which are kinda pricey plus the fact that gadgets are not that important. I already got gadgets that I need and I don’t plan to spend that much cash on luxury. Zalora on the other hand doesn’t give vouchers higher than 500 pesos. But the good thing about zalora, you don’t need to join any contest to get vouchers plus they regularly have flash sale of 15% off on selected products. You just need to check out their website regularly to get advantage of the discounts. To give you an idea, I could have items worth 1,800 and pay only 1,000 for an order. That’s roughly 45% off! And the best part, I can pick whichever product I want without the disappointment of getting crap I hate. Another best part? They have sale of as much as 80% off on many products! Do you know that I can afford now to collect signatured lotion and body spray? Yes I can. Gone are the days I wished somebody would gift me one to have one. And oh, I have one box coming to my doorstep tomorrow, I bought two shoes, what? Do they fit? Gosh I’m not sure. Whatever. They have to. So do you want to join zalora now? I got a voucher that you can use to get 15% discount. Register on their website, just google zalora okay, remember everything is just a google away, pick products you want then use ZBAP0Fs before checkout. There you go. What else to say? Hmm nothing else so

Life is too short......

Hello motherfather gentlemen! I'm finally back on track. Did u miss me? Oh I miss u too! One of the good things about being gone so long is that you have got a million stories to tell but the hardest part is how to start and when to end. But just like life, no matter how we start it, we just have to make sure of doing things as enjoyable as it should be. Life ends when it ends but this blog is gonna outlive me, I'm gonna end before this blog ends so "blog...hang in there, we still got a lot work to do...two and two together". Speaking of life..suddenly why u ask? I miss a friend. Someone who I won't ever get to see and hear again. Someone who I won't ever get to hold of, joke around, smile at...like we used to do. Fuck cancers and their vitamins for making them grow stronger from nothing to fucking ugly serial killers! Fuck you! And yes, don't forget to say 'i love you' to people who mean the world to you because life is too fast. And short. And cruel. And death is very unexpected. It's important they are able to feel they are loved. Did I say I love you Julien somewhere in here yet? Because I always do. I am myself because of this love. You are my son who is composed of my very own cells and my every cell is composed of my love for you. I never thought my life would be co-terminous with another life until I had you. I will never get tired of mending your wounds, fixing everything for you, cleaning every dirt you get, shielding you, nursing you, be everything for you. I will never stop being paranoid, me and my magnifying glass will stay beside you longer than you want in search for bruises and rashes even if need not be. You will be turning 10 tomorrow, another milestone for both of us. I am thankful the sickly child you were before...you no longer are. You're still that clumsy though, you are still having headaches when it's loud, you still tremble when afraid, puke when upset, I can still feel your heart beats fast over loud fireworks, but I am sure one step at a time you will age out of all your weakness. You see you can play basketball fairly well now. You sing inside the bathroom, often times I catch you smile for unknown reasons, you got your first crush, eat fish without any help, finish three bowls of rice with your bare hands. These are only few of the things that really make me smile about you. And to my boyfriend...I married you, only you. Thinking of all the things we got through and still getting through, who would think of remarrying again lolz. Seriously, we had spent like 30% of our lives before we became a thing, then we spent another maybe like 20% living a life together, and I have noone in mind to share the remaining 50% of it with...but you. That is neither because you were good nor bad. The fact that we stood by each other through the years, we made a family, we had a child, we knew each other's ugliest and worst personalities. I know marriage is complications, and if there's someone to get complicated with, then let it be only you. If being married means chaos, then bring it on. If marrying you gave you all the right in the world to hurt me, then I let you. I could always find someone better but noone and nothing could equate the kind of life we shared together. We have been through heaven and hell and thinking about going through heaven and hell again with another would be just a waste. What the fuck..please excuse the emoness. To my only brother, happy birthday to you! We enjoyed the home made pizza you just made... My laptop is dead...and this is basically why it took so long for me to blog...I'm so sad because I was not able to say I love you laptop before it RIP...it's too late now...

I sang and recorded it...wtf.

So for the sake of hearing what its like to hear my own voice singing...I tried to record using the record function of the videoke..

It was insane lolz.... and my diction was terrible...

Don't make fun of me...it was random...no practice at all...

"Gonna make you swet, gonna make you wet...yu no hu ahh emmm..."  fuck fuck fuck lolz...

Seriously..it was not psy's gentleman...but marry me.

For silly reasons...I recorded another one...you're gonna get pissed I know already...I don't have a life hehe..

I was faking it...I'm actually very good...I'm such a pro...

Boooo! Ok enough...

But wait...dondon said..."the mike...pass it here"...

Here's take this love for ya..

.

My teeth fell out

It was a dream. Thank God I still got all my teeth! But last night I had a pretty bad dream about my front teeth getting loose and falling out one after the other. That was not the first time I dreamt about falling teeth, I had them many times before and more than any other dream I had, losing teeth is one of the few that really bothers me because it seems so damn real. I even spit the tooth and some blood. Yuck. The weird thing about this dream is the feeling of one part of my face being paralyzed for stupid reason. What even more stupid is the fact that when I wake up I have to bite a piece of wood to counter the bad luck that it may bring to my life. Fuck superstitions! Fuck me for eating an innocent wood simply because it doesn't cost me anything! 

For the sake of knowing what could be the meaning of this dream, if there's any. Whatever. I googled its interpretation and got annoyed because it was full of negative shit. How about a little bit of good things?  Damn you people for making all these stories up. 

Sexual tensions

Fear of losing money

Fear of looking stupid

Fear of getting old
Fear of looking unattractive

Fear of failure

Fear of being powerless

Death

Wow. Thanks google for this big embarrassment! Not only did it make me look like a pervert but it shoved in my face that I am fat, ugly bitch who got inferiority and total lack of self-confidence! I tell you something. I don't care what a  rotten tooth says what I am and what could happen to me in the future. My fate would never be measured by how many teeth i have that fell out during a nightmare. Is there even a scientific explanation that could support these interpretations? NOTHING. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to finish my tea. 

Slimming tea. 

What the fuck.

Giggle Blair Giggle

Meet Blair, my six month old niece.  Below is a video of her while my other seven year old niece madi is kidding her. To film this, I had to hold her with my left arm so I can use the other hand to hold a camera. 

Nobody ever makes her giggle but only madi who has been really good at clowning babies. I tried several times though but she would just stare at me like maybe she thought I was a freak. The only times I made her smile were the times I sang gangnam style to her. The "hey sexy lady" part is just her favorite part. I love how babies are weird.